“I PROMISE I’LL TAKE CARE OF IT”: wide-eyed young psychology student Emma Brandt only had one place to go amid the endless stalls of O-Week.
“I don’t remember what it (the stall) was called,” she explained, “but they have sunflowers this year and they’re so cute.
“You get nothing like this back home in Walcha.”
Brandt, who turns 18 next month, was also seen with the staples, including a commbank keep cup, Roundhouse-themed socks, and a pack of condoms.
“I didn’t really want the condoms but, hey, they said you never know when you might need them; and you know what? they’re right.”
She refused to comment on how she’d use the nightclub vouchers.
“The ANZ gelato is so good too.”
More to come.
“The Shallot” is Gamamari’s satirical news column, inspired by The Onion, delivering bite-sized satire through fictionalised, absurd takes on real-world events and societal issues. This thought-provoking column offers readers a playful critique of contemporary culture and politics in a style that parodies traditional journalism.